Mayawati

Mayawati can get away in UP, if she erects her own statues and names them after Indira Gandhi or Rajiv Gandhi!! What say?

Insti Lingo

Cuppax freshies junta puts fight rag n type Fundaes Bong CGPA arbit pseud mess grub shit rice OAT profs fart Tam Assignment fag RG crash Gurunath matcha slisha Tarams slam bulb KLPD muggu cash Dig Peace Da hajaar CLT ulti stud-level end-sem SAC non-male dayscis Gult Chillax crib frooty quiz night outs pondy Duh! Mallu Convo

Saans-Bahu... double take.

Techies on-board

Two kinds of desis I have started to identify and hate these days:
1. The software folk and their parents who think they have conquered America (yes, I know this is not a new hate thing with me)
2. desi chicks who pose all the time with another chick (well, usually the other one is uglier) like they are about to kiss

Why do so many of them fly Air India?

This story of personal suffering will induce some strong reactions, so please share this with as many people as you want.

It all started on a long distance flight on Air India.

Well, there was actually another flight which came before, and it was also Air India, and that sucked big time because it was 3 hours late taking off, and the boarding procedure... lets say was best described as a cross between the hawking of private buses from Chennai to Bangalore and, for the lack of one more witty analogy, the hawking of private buses from Bangalore to Chennai. Everyone was pissed, but they all cursed the whole airline industry in general, and how it all got screwed up due to terrorists. I thought the same, giving AI the benefit of doubt.

But no.

Since I also made the mistake of flying AI back, I was in a unique position to see that it was not merely the whole airline business that needed to be blamed, but Air India was at the top of the worst airlines to fly. I was also in a unique position of feeling extremely stupid for flying AI both ways.

It started with the 3 hour delay. I was told that the flight which was to take off at 1:30 would board at 12:30 and at 12:00, the gate was not assigned. OK, I take a deep breath, and curse the airport for having so much traffic. But when you sit and sit and sit and watch the monitors show Planes that were to depart at 1:00 take off, and your flight still hasn't been assigned a gate, things began to look a little weird.

2:00 - Finally, the gate is assigned, and you RUN towards the gate with all the others who were waiting for it. You realise that there are way too many people for one plane running with you... but it's OK. At that point I don't care.

2:30 - You (finally!) start boarding. Not one person tells you what the delay has been for... You are still happy to get on-board. Also, the flight happens to be a huge Boeing, double-decker. That explained those many people! But alas, this fact wouldn't bring any peace.

3:00 - Flight still hasn't moved an inch. Way too many seats are empty. Why?

3:01 - Holy crap! All the Air hostesses are above 40 years of age. And there are stewards too... northies x(

3:01:15 - Do I call that one auntyji?

3:02 - "Anuty, can I get some juice while we wait?" "No drinks till we take off"... Hmmm... aunty was the right term - reminds me of an evil aunt... Ahh! Air India - Making you feel right at home... the place you thought you left for good while getting-on on one of these flights...

4:15 - Oh! did we move? hmmm... I am dying of dehydration because you aren't allowed water on flights these days. *&%$##)(*) !

4:30 - A LOT, of those empty seats start filling up. But you notice way too many of them are speaking in telugu and tamil... uh oh!

4:32 - A couple says excuse me to some hippie looking white dude who is about to sit, but since he doesn't respond the next second, they plough through together... and with their overweight (how did they board with such huge-ass bags?!) bags.

4:33 - A very, lets just say "rustic", couple come up to my aisle, and look for space to keep their (yet again, overweight) bags on the top compartment. On finding that there is no space because of all the other desis' bags, they decide to just take my bag out to my horror, and try to shove it in after they keep their luggage. Then they find out it doesn't fit. So, just like those people on a private bus in India, they say "Can you sit with your bag on your lap? we are coming from Bombay"

Never had I felt a greater urge to yell "Are you fucking stupid?!" to their faces, than on that flight, dehydrated, pissed off, and at the end of a beautiful vacation. But I only said "You can store your bags in the leg space, that's what you are supposed to do". But on continuing arguments which they tried to convince me that they were from bombay (apparently, I don't appear indian, so they try in Angrezi, hindi and whatever else they could think of)... So I give up and find the only other compartment space for my bag and control my rage.

4:45 - The flight looks full. I am told that the delay was because another AI flight was delayed, which was used by many as a connecting flight to this one, and these people waited till every last one of those people checked in.

5:00 - Take off. And water leaking from the roof of the airplane. See... THAT is original! Only happens on Air India.

And you'd think the drama was over... muahahaha! It had only begun.
The whole flight was nothing short of a flee market. Wives cursing their husbands for not stowing away the luggage properly, husbands talking to their parents about their techie jobs in a smug way (uh!) and those parents telling me that their son is in software and why I don't do software.

Their children crying in-sync when the flight takes off, overly concerned mothers trying to pacify these infants by walking up and down the aisle waking up as many people as possible in the ear-shot, old people blocking usage of the aisles and toilets for everyone else, my headset not working to kill all this noise out...

NEVER FLY AIR INDIA. PLEASE.

Cricket: Sreesanth Swinging His Bat..... Dhoom Machale?!

The silence has been too long, so just filling it

The inebriation of hope

Desis: Indians abroad, more specifically in the US.

I am a Desi FOB now. (These distinctions are not so pronounced where I am right now (grad students don't usually talk such bull, but they are present anyway.)

Desis have parties; Desis dress in skimpy clothes and go dancing at these events. I write this coming back from one of these. According to the (relatively) new funda in my life, I am doing everything that one can try... but at my own pace. And Desis also have ritualistic orgies (almost) in the name of ganesh pooja.

It starts with all the people paying up a good 5$ or more to enter one of these. It is arranged by one of the stereotypical punjabi "dude". Long hair, tall, dark and despo. They have DJs playing a mix of replacable hip-hop and bhangra. More money for the drinks (understandably premium priced). Even more money if you get to the point of buying drinks for the females.

Enough introduction... now the whole deal through my POV. You enter a dimly lit dance floor, the lighting is nice, the music fits into the place. Bass is high. You see a lot of hot and even some beautiful females, most are Indian. So far so good... and then you start taking in the other details. There are more guys than gals (expected). All the girls are with their BFs/dates... Piggybacking on other more desp junta for drinks.

The music suddenly becomes loud. The silly drunk girls explode in high pitched screams. You turn around to see the guys trying to locate the shrillest voice, apparently realising that that will be the easiest female to pick up for the night. Of course, no such thing happens. She already has a BF!

The friends you came with are trying hard to dance, too hard. They stand here and there, jiggle around, put the drinks on top of their heads. Jiggle-Jiggle-Jiggle. It is going nowhere. They ask why you are sitting down, you just smile. You know they are as effective dancing as you are sitting.

There is one beautiful female you keep watching. She is uncharacteristically silent for the crowd. It appears she is as new to this as you are. You say hi, and she says hi back to you. She sits at the corner with her much more experienced friends.

You try not to stare, so you gaze elsewhere. And then you see a midget dancing amongst all these people. It all fits in. Everyone is a misfit trying to impress everyone else. Everyone is dancing to attract attention. Except there is no beauty here. No grace. No spontaneity. It is all a big drunken haze.



That beautiful girl is now being introduced to a lot more despo-looking northies. She looks uncomfortable, it almost seems like she is being pimped. Someone screams the final punch: "I am here till you are sloshed gals and guys! Rrrrrrrright here!"

You hold your breath and walk out into the more welcoming silence of the night in small town West Lafayette.

Scams, Shams and Flimflams

A blog invariably has an explanation for the name, and this is the mandatory blog explaining the name. Well, here it goes. I don't know why the name "Scams, Shams and FlimFlams". The name here is a piece of art. One can interpret it the way we want, the way David Lynch would explain his movies," Nobody but me knows what my movies mean." Nobody but the Bihari inventor knows what this name means. But what the hell, I am free to interpret it the way I want, and here it goes.

The maddiggers in the course of the last four years, have discussed all possible things on earth, the discussions mostly revolving around Movies, Songs, Politics, the problems infecting the world and well we have solved these problems theoretically time and again, girls, and some people had a special penchant for communism and the others for poetry.

We are still nowhere close to why the name Scams, Shams and FlimFlams. I shall give my take on why the name? Harsha might enlighten me on whether I was anywhere near what he intended the name to mean.

When we met, we invariably discussed the above topics, but then we discussed the most bizzare things amongst them. We discussed the scams, took a moral highground and a third person listening to it would find it to be very high on intellectual content whereas it contained nothing but pure bullshit invariably. And this idea is what the name intends to convey while it comes nowhere near explaining that, owing to the complexity of the name.

These unalduterated fart sessions are what I would miss the most, the going to various places, change of locales to continue with the same old fart.For now we shift to a totally different locale, the one of the cyberworld. Let us see how well it holds us on to the good old maddiggers fart sessions. So far so good, and the ten headed demon and the one who uses the blog to get acquaintances are the only ones who have not contributed here, and of course the one with the special liking for red roses and pink razr. So make it three for now.

Thanksgiving: Here I would like to thank the cottonian for encouraging me to write this entry. And as per your promise, I hope you come up with the next entry.

Request: I request the management boys to contribute here as well. The consultant, please move half the money in your account to my SBI account, no cayman island for me, I am a part of the core banking from now on.

Harsha adds: "Shhh... man! now the others will also know that there is no point to what we have been doing for four years!"

Senti 101

Current Grades:

The Inventor - P
Rajnikanth - P
eiDDie - P

The Rest - F

Now that (almost) everybody is (almost) out of the insti, its time to look back and cry; with or without low spirits.

Guys, add to this list (5 things). This will be like one of those things on orkut where you add stuff as you go along. But if it gets too long or crappy... each one of us has admin rights, right? ;)

So here goes...
Things Aradhya misses about IITM:
1. Junta
2. The beach
3. My small single room, where everything you needed was literally at an arm's length (some closer)
4. All night sessions with junta, especially condomji's rustic but totally correct fundaes on life
5. My mattress I left on the terrace

My five(Akhil):
1. TV series
2. Movies
3. Quizzing
4. TV series
5. My room where I could vegetate in peace

Now leave me alone and let me watch my series you freaks!

umm, my turn now?? well eiddie's five...
1. Alak Terrace (boom shiva i hear is the new euphemism). Enough said. For reasons best known to the members of this elite(?) clique, comments shall be withheld. In any case you might want to check out http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=9882543

2. The eternal perennial uninterrupted (except 1 to 4) source of media - DC++ and its high priests - Chittoor and friends. Didn't imagine that a day would arrive when the acquisition of media (read Scandinavian Power Metal and Subbed (not Dubbed!!)Anime) would require effort.

3. Pizzaraunt!! Now you have to admit that those inexpensive pizzas (compared to dominoes & pizza hut) were sexy.

4. Sarayu - almost everything from first year including stuff like workshop (can't believe I am saying this!!), the first set of endsems and the nightouts that it entailed (this one too!! maybe i need to cut down on the honest senti part!) and sessions of MK4 in Crap's room.

5.The countless hours spent in organizing/participating/walking around inebriated and being a pest especially to MCC women (the last one strictly in Saarang for in my time I have not seen dazzling buxom maidens grace the ISO menagerie that is Shaastra with their presence) in Saarang, Shaastra and Lit-Soc. This is the thing I will miss the most; that I know for sure.

Anyway now that I have built a dozen floors over the foundation that the Inventor and Rajnikanth had laid, the rest of the maddiggers are invited to complete the superstructure of insti senti.

Octas Five

1. Stud Junta doing arbit things
2. The beach
3. The LAN... cant get so many jobless junta torrenting anything and everything under the sun (Even 700 MB files of WWF matches WTF????)
4. The night outs spent discussing practically anything under the stars
5. The forest that is IIT. Will never get to stay in the middle of a forest again :(

Yenibuddy yelse?